Resting B-Face Syndrome

I've uttered, "I can't help how my face looks," way too many damn times.

Hi, I'm a sufferer of the resting bitch face syndrome, it's not a real thing, but I've decided to come up with a name for it. People automatically assume that I'm pissed off, I'm mad or I'm unhappy. I've literally had someone come up to me and say, "your happy ending is only days away". I also remembered thinking what the hell is this person talking about? I'm sure I wasn't thinking about sunshine and butterflies but I love being reminded that my single status is just a disease waiting to be staved off by a man wanting me. I'm not sure how many times when I smiled at people, trying to be polite, I get the seriously, eff this bitch" look. I SWEAR, I'm trying to be nice, I'm really not that big of an asshole.

You're probably wondering, am I a sufferer of RBFS, yep, I'm fancy now, I've made an acronym therefore it's official. Anyway, if you have to ask if you're a sufferer, you're probably a sufferer but since I'm feeling kind of this wonderful dreary Sunday morning, I've decided to break it down bullet-point format. Or because I'm too lazy to make an actual post but whatever.

You have RBF syndrome if you have heard the following:

• "You should smile more." 
• "Are you okay? You seem so angry." 
• "One day your prince charming will come, but first, you have to seem more welcoming."
• "Ohh, dear, are you all right?"

If your response to all these are, "I guess I look like a bitch", you're a sufferer of the RBF syndrome. I'm sorry, there's no way to cure this, you're just going to look like a bitch for the rest of your life. If you're like me, it doesn't stop men from talking to you.  I guess they have read The Taming of the Shrew and think of my "eff off" look as an open discussion. It's not, sometimes I really do want to be left alone. Listen, our faces are awesome, it'll be weird as hell if you smiled all the time and started singing to yourself like you belong in an effing Disney movie, having birds do your hair, as well as, dress you. That's weird. 

And I've just Google'd, okay, I'm lying I've Yahoo'd but that sounds weird, Resting Bitchface Syndrome, someone already coined it! Dammit. Well, I'm snatching it, that's right, I've taken back the power. Whatever, listen, if you're a suffer of the Resting Bitchface Syndrome, you don't have to suffer in silence, there's thousands of us and yeah, it's a little annoying. If I hear "Smile, things will surely come your way" one more time, I might snap, but I have to remember, there are others like me.  Suffering in silence.