Twenty Three and ADD

I feel like there's a light at the tunnel now.

Mostly because I know that I'm okay, I never thought I was crazy, I always knew I was wild, impulsive, and just random. I always blamed it on my Gemini traits, I really don't know why I seriously thought on being ADD after hearing a friend speak on it. Usually I brush those types of murmurs off, maybe I thought to myself that I wanted to be okay that sometimes, I want to be apart of a conversation for longer than ten minutes because frankly, I get BORED. Boring conversations are boring and I can't spend another minute thinking about it but everything began to add up, haha, get it, ADD? The lack of teamwork, getting really pissed off when someone interrupts me from work, the moments of superfocus (which superfocus times has convinced everybody I know that I'm NOT ADD even though it's clear I am), the times where I get lost in my own head, which happens a lot or feeling really skeezed out when I have to make confirmed plans like what if I want to do something else? I just thought I was flaky, impatient and above all other things, a typical Gemini.

I am a typical Gemini but I also have a large amount of ADD traits, I think what clarified to the doctor that I had ADD was when I managed to get lost in on a few subway stations for four hours. I mean, I thought EVERYBODY gets lost but not for four hours. I mean, whatever, I guess but I mean it's true. If I wasn't ADD, adderral would be a upper not a downer but it is and it's one of the best feelings in the world to feel like I'm a part of a conversation like I know what's going on. I still get distracted and hey, it's day one of the meds but I feel like I could be there, where I can follow my dreams (through), write a book and finish it, get nominated for awards because I'm not just the angry sassy black girls who knows a lot of shit. I'm pretty excited and see a silver lining (I literally just finished the movie).

I am super scared at the same time like what if I lose my edge? What if I lose my spark? I was always the funny, goofy girl, who says what she wants to say and mean it but what if I'm no longer that person? Anybody who's reading my blog and has ADD, please comment to give me some pointers, to let me know you're experience. I really want to start some sort of Adult ADD community for people in their early 20s to mid 30s, so we can shoot the shit like figure out about how ADD effects relationships and stuff.

I mean, this is perfect though, a fresh start and just in time because I'm going to ENGLAND next month. Not just going but LIVING in England for three years. I've been dreaming of this day since the fucking Spice Girls came out....and I just can't wait!

I'm guessing this blog is going to become a chronicle, about traveling, my love life (because even though the ex isn't out the picture, he's out the picture romantically and for good), and ADD. Who's coming along with?

How To Talk to An Ex (The Awkward Way)

I must have ridiculous standards or something but I've always suspected that when exes talk and they may or may not have feelings for each other, it'd be kind of like the OC or Gossip Girl. Where they longingly look at each other from across the room until one of them have the balls to confess the truth. The truth is spoken and they live happily ever after, rain is coming down and they're making out in the middle of a thunderstorm. Then months later, they're hehe and hahaing at their wedding, talking about the horrible mistake they've made being apart from one another. Life isn't like the movies.

Especially if you still have feelings for each other. Majority of the conversation is you guys one upping each other like 'oh, you went on a date with someone? haha, me too, except it was like three in one night, all three of them were amazing. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAHAHA'.You spend majority of the conversation inserting awkward laughs here and there, everything is so light and airy because YOU DON'T CARE. Not at all, not in the least. You don't cry yourself to sleep over them, you don't think that it's a mistake that you guys aren't together. You couldn't care less. It's especially awkward when you both may or may not have feelings for each other because it's awkward laughs, conversation and everything times two. So it's especially weird and awkward.

Can you guess which one couldn't care less? Yea me either.

Don't forget to mention how much either of you don't care every other sentence. Make sure to say it as MUCH as possible. And make it as weird and cringeworthy as possible. Be like 'oh yeah, I saw that girl all up on your Facebook, saying how hot you are, haha, have a nice life together. How often do you bang?'. The key point is to make it so embarrassing for everyone around you. Point out how much you don't care again, just in case, either one of you forgot. Let me remind you all, this is for both parties, so the guy might even say 'oh, yeah, you said all three of your dates were amazing? That's great and you know we both don't care so it makes even better. Just in case you forgot, I don't care haha.'

 I'm not going to lie, nothing is more horrible and awkward plus confusing than talking to an ex. You're going to spend majority of the conversation like "WHY WOULD I SAY THAT? WHO SAYS THAT?". Seriously stuff that doesn't even make sense will be coming out of your mouth like word vomit and you're going to be vomitting out a whole conversation.

Then you realize that both of you are just mad over each other (like in like mad) so why is it so hard to piece it all back together?

When "College" Life Goes Boom!

I don't care how random and how non-post this is.

Okay, let me take a moment to be clear that I'm not in college. I go to school but I'm also full time in the military, with that note, I have to mention that being in the military is kind of like college. I'm serious, it's a bunch of college aged kids (with a sprinkle of old geezers) who, I guess have to save the world, kind of like Spiderman. I think he was around my age. I wish I could find the meme which shows the difference between my branch and other branches because mine's literally a bunch of kids getting drunk.

Anywho, so, since I'm practically college age, I live in the dorms, also known as, a quad. Tell me WHY, they accidentally put a dude in my quad. My name is ASHLEY, I'm 99% sure, the other girl I live with has an equally for REAL girl name. So, I'm pretty baffled when I walk in from the dining facility to my quad and see some dude in my quad. At first I was like, damn a room inspection (yes, they inspect our rooms, it's weird) and then I was like it's 7:30pm. Then I realized the dude was doing a room inspection to move in, I was like hold the damn phone. Hell no.

I mean, how hard is it to realize that you're putting in a dude into a girls' quad when the dude is sitting right in front of the dude who's picking out the room. I wouldn't have been as mad if he was hot. I would have been like 'ooh what's up, hottie' but he wasn't. Plus, the dude was interrupting the Mindy Project. Who the hell does that in real life? And does what? I mean interrupting the Mindy Project.

I can't believe I missed the Mindy Project so I can call the dude in charge of the dorm and let him know whoever placed this ugly dude in my quad was mistaken. Even the dude in charge was like "this is what happens when you put idiots in charge of something simple."

OKAY I found the meme! It's legit too, obviously from my posts, it's for real. One of these days I'm going to real post about some deep and intellectual things since I'm almost twenty four. You know almost twenty four year olds who shouldn't be hot messes anymore but they also shouldn't also live in the dorms either. Just sayin'.