Wednesday, May 14, 2014

24, Single and Kidless

So, I think I'm okay with the aspect of being single. Honestly, being single allows me to do what I want with whom I want. I don't have to check in with anybody, if I see a hot man, I don't have to just look, I can touch too but the best part is... I'm single. The aspect of marriage is out the window right now, I do still get the 'when are you going to settle down' talks but I'm also 24. I'm sure in less than a month when I'm 25 I'll get the talk more frequently but the prospect of kids is also off the table. I'm okay with that. I know a lot of women say when I get pregnant and have kids, I'll love my child and I'll love being a mom. I don't doubt I'll love the being that I grew in my belly but quite frankly the idea of having a child, it actually skeezes me out.

Say what?

Yes, when I think of being pregnant, I honestly think of an alien invasion. Women are going to get mad at me for saying this but I just don't think having children is going to be for me. I don't want children actually. I don't even like kids. There. I've said it. I joke around with people from my office about this, I'm pretty sure they're convinced that I'll like their child but that's a hit or miss. I've liked very few children in my life and they were pretty bad ass but let's be real, most kids are annoying. It's not their fault, their parents raised them to be annoying, their parents raised kids to believe that everybody is going to like them because they're a child. Which isn't true. Obviously, people don't think of people like me but I don't have the emotional capability for a child. I'm selfish, I really don't want to have to take care of another being that isn't some type of animal. I love animals by the way, just not kids. I do like babies though, I think they're adorable but to actually have a baby? Are you out of your mind?

I've been trying to get myself used to the idea of having a kid for many years now. If I get pregnant or a friend gets pregnant, I'm at the age where it's normal and not scandalous. I have to refrain myself from asking my fellow pregnant friends 'did you want this to happen intentionally?' because it's an rude question. I know that but I also know if I got pregnant, I'd probably thrash about the house and throw myself onto couches dramatically. My parents have embraced the fact that I probably should NEVER have a kid, so has my sister but I feel bad because it puts pressure on her to give my parents' grandchildren. I don't want to push the burden onto her but I know I'd be a shitty, unhappy parent. Not because of the 'I'm selfish' excuse but because I plain don't like children. I don't understand them. They're erratic and chaotic, you can't really make plans, the kids make the plans. That little being owns the parents' world. I'm not okay with that.

I honestly wish society would embrace the fact that not all women want to be parents. Just like not all women want to marry. I know the ignorant kind like to say 'you feel this way now but when it happens to you...' blah blah but shouldn't I want to have kids prior to having them? Shouldn't I at least kind of like kids and feel the 'beauty' of pregnancy prior to? I think so. Maybe I'll want kids in the future, maybe not. I'm leaning towards not but it's not a bad thing. Being a parent is special and a beautiful thing, it's just not EVERYONE'S thing.

6 comments :

  1. I relate to this so much! Being the oldest child, I know my poor mom is just waiting for something that will never happen. I just don't want kids. And I hate that society and my peers tell me I'm selfish for that. Thanks for sharing this post... found it on 20SB.
    http://chelseapearl.com

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    1. Right, we aren't selfish, actually them wanting to have kids to fit into the status quo is actually selfish. We are just being realistic! :)

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  2. I relate to a lot of what you are saying. I do want to have kids, but I'm in no rush to really work to make it happen. My husband & I are in our mid 20s & have been married for several years know, and just bought a house. So it feels like baby is the next logical step, but we are really enjoying this place in our life and not sure we're ready to actively pursue any big changes, haha. Plus I totally agree about pregnancy- the idea of someone else living INSIDE MY BODY is not beautiful- it's kinda weird & scary. Plus I feel very strongly in favor of adoption, so there's really no set timetable or pre-determined path for my journey to become a mom. We should all be free to live our lives as WE see fit.

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    1. Exactly, you and your husband have ENJOYED each other first prior to popping out 3 kids. I think that's where a lot of marriages fail, they don't allow the husband/wife to bond as a unit prior to bringing in a kid.

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  3. a former roommate of mine felt exactly the same about pregnancy.. she said it just seemed "gross" and she just never had the urge to have kids.
    i think the more ladies who express their opinion about remaining childless, the less unusual it will be.. i'm sure there were girls in former generations who didn't want families but it was harder to go against the grain when women weren't in the workforce, expected to get married at 17, etc etc.
    depending on my health, i might not be able to have my own kids, which is pretty sad since it's something i've always wanted, but i would never expect another person to share my exact thoughts on that or really anything else. it's personal!!

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    1. I'm sorry to hear about that but I definitely think there should be more love to those who can't have biological kids. Everyone says oh adopt but they aren't aware how extensive the process is. You can't just go to the store and pick a baby, it can take years to adopt a baby and maybe that isn't something you want to do. There's nothing wrong with being childless and wanting to be childless. We shouldn't be looked down upon because of that.

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