The Cookie Cult

I have a theory about Girl Scouts. 

If you've been reading my twitter, you would know that I'm legit terrified of these girls. Every year around the same time these heathens are EVERYWHERE. LITERALLY, EVERY-WHERE (yes, all caps are necessary). Today I thought to myself, do I really want food or would I rather starve? Starving almost came into play or ordering food online, but suddenly, I really wanted a cupcake bad. So, I had to venture out to the real world and obtain my cupcake. Worst. Idea. Ever. In the history of ideas. The whole time I was driving to the store I kept thinking "this is a mistake, this is a horrible idea" and the full parking lot definitely confirmed that my idea was indeed the worst mistake of the day. Yet, I just parked my car a billion miles away, in fact, if I would have just parked in Africa I would have probably been closer. Whatever. So, as I was walking to the commissary, I spotted them, The Cookie Terrorists and they were in EVERY entrance. Except for one, which, of course, isn't even connected to the damn building that I needed to go in. So, I had to be a sneaky ninja and walk pass them, unnoticed and fast. 

It's really hard to say no to them because they have cookies and thin mints, plus they're kids. Well, actually, the kids part means nothing to me because I honestly do not like kids especially the age 6-19. It's like the older they get, the more obnoxious they get. Does anyone notice that high schoolers think they're like Kanye West-the shit? I mean, they think they're so amazing and it's so not true, they're annoying and just dumb. 

My point is, it's easy to say no to the girl scouts because I hate children but to cookies? It's hard to say no to so, I had to run away plus I can respect the little girls hustling for some money. I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, right? It's just a nightmare going to places nowadays, they're at six thousand exits at the commissary and when I go to the shoppette during normal hours, they're there too, right in front of the entrance/exit. It's so obnoxious like seriously, go away. And I hate when I say no, they give me the look like I'm the devil. Like 'listen, homegirl, I have three boxes of cookies chilling in my freezer right now and I have to feed my shopping addition somehow. I can't afford to buy a billion cookies just so you can get a patch on your ugly green vest, okay? Girl Scout's when you get my age, you'll realize there's more to life than being an obnoxious cookie terrorist, all right?'

That's my rant for the day.

Did I mention that my New Years' Resolution is to blog more? I bet you've noticed, hrah hrah.