Monday, January 23, 2012

The Cookie Cult

I have a theory about girl scouts. If you've been reading my twitter, you would know that I'm legit terrified of these girls. Every year around the same time these heathens are EVERYWHERE. LITERALLY, EVERY-WHERE (yes, all caps is necessary). Today I thought to myself, do I really want food or would I rather starve? Starving almost came into play or ordering food online but suddenly, I really wanted a cupcake bad. So, I had to venture out to the real world and obtain my cupcake. Worst. Idea. Ever. In the history of ideas. The whole time I was driving to the commissary I kept thinking "this is a mistake, this is a horrible idea" and the full parking lot definitely confirmed that my idea was indeed the worst mistake of the day. Yet, I just parked my car a billion miles away, in fact, if I would have just parked in Africa I would have probably been closer. Whatever. So, as I was walking to the commissary, I spotted them, The Cookie Terrorists and they were in EVERY entrance. Except for one, which, of course, isn't even connected to the damn building that I needed to go in. So, I had to be a sneaky ninja and walk pass them, unnoticed and fast. 

It's really hard to say no to them because they have cookies and thin mints, plus they're kids. Well, actually, the kids part means nothing to me because I honestly do not like kids especially the age 6-19. It's like the older they get, the more obnoxious and annoying they are. Does anyone notice that high schoolers think they're like Kanye West-the shit? I mean, they think they're so amazing and it's so not true, they're annoying and just dumb. I was just like that when I was their age which furthers my hate even more. My point is, It's easy to say no to the girl scouts because I hate children but to cookies? It's hard to say no to so, I have to run away plus I can respect the little girls hustling for some money. I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, right? It's just a nightmare going to places nowadays, they're at six thousand exits at the commissary and when I go to the shoppette during normal hours, they're there too, right in front of the entrance/exit. It's so obnoxious like seriously, go the fuck away. And I hate when I say no, they give me the look like I'm the devil. Listen, homegirl, I have three box of cookies chilling in my freezer right now and I have to feed my shopping addition somehow. I can't afford to buy a billion cookies just so you can get a fucking patch on your ugly green vest, okay? Girl Scout's when you get my age, you'll realize there's more to life than being an obnoxious cookie terrorist, all right?

That's my rant for the day.

Did I mention that my New Years' Resolution is to blog more? I bet you've noticed, hrah hrah. 

8 comments :

  1. Funny, funny. I can't resist me some samosa!! -Audry Cece (www.thedontlovedare.com)

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  2. At least they don't go door to door like they used to.  I try to mob in with other people when I got into stores.  I'm short so they can't see me.

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  3. Too funny I hate when kids are selliing things it makes it hard for people to turn them down. They are so annoying!

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  4. Ps not that I'm telling you what to do with your blog but disqus is super annoying, it posted the first part of my email even when I put B, can you erase it for me! Thanks

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  5. Yeah it's pretty annoying but I think it's better than blogger. I cannot even reply to anybody that's the only reason why I chose disque. Of course I'll delete your comment! :)

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  6. I swear those cookies have crack laced in them.

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  7. Really? They used to go door to door? That's extremely obnoxious I'm glad they stopped doing that.

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  8. It does because they're kids trying to hustle but for what? I have no idea other than the stupid patch on their vest. 

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