The Cookie Cult

I have a theory about Girl Scouts. 

If you've been reading my twitter, you would know that I'm legit terrified of these girls. Every year around the same time these heathens are EVERYWHERE. LITERALLY, EVERY-WHERE (yes, all caps are necessary). Today I thought to myself, do I really want food or would I rather starve? Starving almost came into play or ordering food online, but suddenly, I really wanted a cupcake bad. So, I had to venture out to the real world and obtain my cupcake. Worst. Idea. Ever. In the history of ideas. The whole time I was driving to the store I kept thinking "this is a mistake, this is a horrible idea" and the full parking lot definitely confirmed that my idea was indeed the worst mistake of the day. Yet, I just parked my car a billion miles away, in fact, if I would have just parked in Africa I would have probably been closer. Whatever. So, as I was walking to the commissary, I spotted them, The Cookie Terrorists and they were in EVERY entrance. Except for one, which, of course, isn't even connected to the damn building that I needed to go in. So, I had to be a sneaky ninja and walk pass them, unnoticed and fast. 

It's really hard to say no to them because they have cookies and thin mints, plus they're kids. Well, actually, the kids part means nothing to me because I honestly do not like kids especially the age 6-19. It's like the older they get, the more obnoxious they get. Does anyone notice that high schoolers think they're like Kanye West-the shit? I mean, they think they're so amazing and it's so not true, they're annoying and just dumb. 

My point is, it's easy to say no to the girl scouts because I hate children but to cookies? It's hard to say no to so, I had to run away plus I can respect the little girls hustling for some money. I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, right? It's just a nightmare going to places nowadays, they're at six thousand exits at the commissary and when I go to the shoppette during normal hours, they're there too, right in front of the entrance/exit. It's so obnoxious like seriously, go away. And I hate when I say no, they give me the look like I'm the devil. Like 'listen, homegirl, I have three boxes of cookies chilling in my freezer right now and I have to feed my shopping addition somehow. I can't afford to buy a billion cookies just so you can get a patch on your ugly green vest, okay? Girl Scout's when you get my age, you'll realize there's more to life than being an obnoxious cookie terrorist, all right?'

That's my rant for the day.

Did I mention that my New Years' Resolution is to blog more? I bet you've noticed, hrah hrah. 

Bitch Post!

Since I'm too lazy to write a legit post, here's the thoughts that goes through my head daily…well instances, whatever, this is a random post. 

1. Yesterday I was caught a reflection of myself in the mirror and I almost said out loud "wow, I guess I am really pretty". I decided to refrain from voicing my opinion out loud because people hate vain bitches.

2. It absolutely annoys me to NO end when people brag about themselves which is ridiculously ironic because of thought 1 but seriously? It's okay to brag on yourself every once in a while but if you're good at everything (Or so you say) what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the Genius World Records of Awesome? Exactly.

3. My friend and I were talking about girls being so STUPID in relationships. Okay, if your boyfriend breaks up with you and tells you he never wants to marry you that broke up with you for a reason, MAYBE, MAYBE, you should stop talking him. Don't come to your friends and ask them what to do then get upset when they tell you you're being dumb. You weren't dumb the first time but if the second time comes around and you find text messages on his phone asking if "he can get it in with a seventeen year old" maybe you should cut your loses. 

4. A couple days ago, my dad interrupted my story and goes "no, seriously how do you have friends?". I had to explain to him that people value the truth and then he laughed. I had to laugh too because I think that all the time.

5. I'm never on time to anything (unless it's work), I really mean well, I swear. It's just that I can't be on time, I remember one time I was still skyping with my best friend and I told another friend I was on my way to her house, just stuck in traffic. Best excuse ever.

6. I don't know why but I always get really happy when a guy who's been messing with my relationships finally get engaged. I'm literally their number one fans, Hell, if they'd let me, I'd GO to the wedding to make sure that they're getting married. 

7. NOTHING turns me on more than a guy who knows how to spell. 

8. Facebook is not your diary. Do not post your life on your statuses because I will laugh then I will screen cap it, send it to my friends and laugh again. 

9. I did write a legit post a couple days ago but it was so beyond whining and pathetic, I HAD to delete it. Just because I got tamed doesn't mean I have to be some pathetic soul crying over posts every day. 

And there you have it, shit I've been bitching about since the holidays!